Thursday, March 29, 2012

Gay Rights

It’s interesting. When people find out that I am in a same-sex relationship, I get a lot of questions. Either that, or a blank look. And every once in awhile, people don’t miss a beat when they move on with the conversation. Most of the time though, there is an air of surprise. I can’t exactly blame them- it surprised the hell out of me, too.

But the most awkward conversations I tend to have with people about my relationship usually don’t have a whole lot to do with just me. Instead, it’s the conversations that veer towards politics and gay rights and the upcoming election.

When Maryland legalized gay marriage earlier this year, I had a co-worker ask me if she should contact a friend she hadn’t been in contact with in awhile, who lives in Maryland, to congratulate her on the new ability to legally be tied to her partner. She asked if that was something that her friend would like, or if it was tacky. She asked if this was something that warranted a quick call or a greeting card. Honestly, it took me by complete surprise.

My new lesbian status has seemed to suddenly made me a pseudo-expert on gay rights.

This makes me incredibly uncomfortable, in so many ways. For one, I have never been one to talk politics. They have suddenly shifted importance, becoming something that affects me in a more direct way than I ever thought possible- but I still don’t like them. I hate the fact that I have to argue why I deserve the same basic rights as everyone else just because of the person I am in love with. I hate that my right to marry is directly affected by the man who is voted into office later this year.

I hate the baggage and the hardships that come along with living my life the way I want to live it.

I’m not a revolutionary. I’m not much of a fighter. I lack the passion that my beautiful girlfriend has for our rights. I lack her spirit.

I’m just a girl who is in love with another girl.

And maybe someday, we will live in a world where that is enough for me to stand up in front of my friends and family, in any state I want, and say “I do.”

Monday, March 26, 2012

Steady As They Go

Things seem to be going remarkably well for us, especially in the moving-in-together-and-feeling-financially-secure front. Melissa got a new job that she's really happy with. The fact that it pays well and she can still keep her old job part-time are both awesome benefits. Another (maybe) benefit is that the company insurance allows "Qualified Same-Sex Partners" to be covered. That is awesome. We have no idea what we have to do to be qualified, since we're in a state that does not offer legal partnership of any kind, but it's uplifting that they even offer it. 

Plus, her boss has offered me a position when I get into town. The fact that I will not be unemployed and will have the ability to carry my own weight in the relationship is huge for me. I have always been fairly independent, and have paid for everything for myself since I left college. Now that we are a partnership, it is very important for me to be able to contribute. I also feel that my old debts are something I need to take care of myself, so I'm glad I will continue to have the ability to pay those off. Melissa has every desire to take care of me and provide for me and that's amazing. It's one of the beautiful things I love about her. But I'm glad I have something to bring to the table besides old credit card bills and student loan debts!

Both of our families are on board with our relationship and with our move. We are blessed to have such accepting people in our lives. I love her family. I get along great with her sister- she reminds me a lot of some of my aunts. She's very funny and sarcastic and fun to be around. She makes me feel like part of the family. Her niece is just like my sister- they would make great friends if they lived closer to each other. And her mom has the strong personality that I sometimes see in Melissa. They are both determined to be right about things! She hugged me goodbye when I left on my taxi to the airport and that could have made me cry. I felt true acceptance in that moment, and it was wonderful.

Other than that, we are well on our way to being together forever and for always! Oh, and do you like our new couch? :)

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Friday, March 16, 2012

Whew!

It's been a long while since I've written and updated. Our time together has come and gone. It was a nice trip and we love spending time together, but it flew by so quickly. Luckily, we are a mere three months away from being together permanently, and that is more exciting than anything!

We have lots to update on, but it's been a long day already and the updates will have to wait. Until then, we will leave you with the only picture we managed to take together during the trip. We have really got to get better with the camera!

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